Silence Breaker- Do You Trust Your Partner Completely?

In the age of HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections, trusting your sexual partner is vital, not just to your relationship but possibly to your life.

You’ve just started seeing someone absolutely gorgeous. He’s on the same wavelength, considerate and crazy about you too. You can’t wait to see him again but most of all, let’s be honest you can’t wait to rip his clothes off and get hot and naked with him. You pause and wonder, your body might be saying yes! Yes now! But your head is rightly, rather cautious.

To move from fantasising about sex to actually doing it is no longer a small step for people .It’s a gigantic leap or so it may seem and as women, it’s not just emotional vulnerability you face when you think about turning a nice enough relationship into something sexual. Now you have to think about your very survival.

Embarking on a sexual relationship with someone new needs careful thought and above all, mutual, rationally-based trust, but when we fall in love with someone our hearts and our bodies usually take over. The first days of romance are a time when we perceive our beloved as practically perfect you hardly know each other and yet you feel as if you’ve know him all your life you think you’ve spent your whole life waiting for this man .Yet the very idea that you have to be cautious cuts right across these glorious feelings but let’s be open about it, can you trust your partner completely?

When he is sleeping with other men, many women do not talk about it? What if your man is having sex with another man? But still he is not GAY what then?

Many women are married to or in a committed relationship with a man who has sex with other men, and often these women have no idea and when they discover this, or even just suspect it they can feel extremely lonely, isolated, confused, rejected and scared. For these women, it can be a huge relief to discover that there are other women in similar situations .Sharing feelings with such women one on one or within support groups can help dispel the isolation and is also an excellent source of information and advice.

Of course, you are at increased risk of contracting HIV if your partner is having sex with anyone else, not just a man. It is unsafe sex, unprotected and/or vaginal intercourse which carries the risk of you contracting HIV but if you think your partner is having sex with men you should ask yourself the following questions

*Is he practicing safe sex?
* Do I want us to practice safe sex?
* Can I talk to him about HIV/AIDS and safe sex?
* Where can I go for help?
* Do we agree on what safe sex is?

NEGOTIATING SAFE SEX
Research shows that many women still don’t feel the need to insist their regular partner wears a condom .In fact, many report that it is actually easier to negotiate safe sex on a one night stand that it is with a longer term relationship, as we haven’t yet made a full emotional investment. Asking for safe sex in an established partnership implies lack of trust, an accusation or admission of unfaithfulness.
CLOSE TALK ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE WITH YOUR PARTNER
There are practical ways of going about it negotiated a contract with your partner about what is acceptable behaviour with your relationship. If he is as wonderful as you think he is, he cares about you and be delighted that you do too. Getting tested for HIV and other STI’S is not something to take lightly and having a test together can mark a true rite of passage. It means facing that one of you might be HIV positive or have some other STI’S, could you trust the guy you’re with to stay by your side if your test result was positive? How would you feel if he were positive? Just asking yourself these questions and giving honest answers could tell you all you ever need to know about sexual trust with your partner.

Until next time